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Mind

Why frenemies, or love-hate relationships, are so bad for your health

Friends who blow hot and cold put more strain on your physical and mental health than enemies. Here's how to spot them and handle them

By David Robson

15 October 2024

91av. Science news and long reads from expert journalists, covering developments in science, technology, health and the environment on the website and the magazine.

Mariana Castel/Millennium Images, UK

When I contemplate the members of my social network, I am mostly filled with unadulterated feelings of love and warmth: I simply can’t wait to see them again, in the knowledge that we will bask in mutual affection and support.

A handful, however, arouse quite different emotions – a mixture of eagerness and dread. They promise encounters that are the conversational equivalent of Russian roulette. In the right mood, these individuals can deliver a fun-filled evening, but if I catch them at the wrong moment, they can drain me of all my goodwill. There is simply no knowing what is…

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