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Never smile at a crocodile . . . if attacked fight back. This advice
comes from two Australian doctors who have treated the reptiles’ victims.
In the 10 years to June 1991, 16 attacks on people were reported in the
Northern Territory. Four were fatal. But six of those who survived escaped
by fighting back – three were released after a tug of war with the crocodile,
two with help from a friend. The others escaped by gouging the crocodile
in the eyes or nostrils.

The jaws of the Australian saltwater crocodile contain 75 conical teeth.
The teeth strike with such force that they crush tissues and cut off the
supply of blood to organs. Those who died were either bitten in half or
decapitated.

Instructions on how to survive a crocodile attack are published in the
latest issue of the Medical Journal of Australia. Allan Mekisic and Jonathan
Wardill tell readers: ‘If one is unfortunate enough to be attacked, it is
advisable to retaliate.’

Mekisic, from the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Camperdown, New South
Wales, and Wardill from the Royal Darwin Hospital, say that most of the
attacks could have been avoided. Half the victims, and all those who died,
had been drinking. Many ignored warning signs: 13 of the victims were swimming
or wading in fading light or at night. One was attacked while asleep in
a tent, 10 metres from the river bank.

Saltwater crocodiles have been protected in the Northern Territory since
1971, and since then the population has increased from about 5000 to 50
000. ‘Given the influx of people to the outdoors in recent years, the incidence
of attack is surprisingly low,’ say Mekisic and Wardill.

The journal also includes the first report of bites from an Australian
marsupial. On Rottnest Island off the west coast near Perth, 72 people have
needed treatment after being bitten by the quokka, a wallaby slightly larger
than a domestic cat. Thomas McDonagh from the Fremantle Hospital says that
people should not pat or feed the animal – all but two of the victims were
bitten in this way.

Doctors from South Australia and Queensland describe the perils of picking
up a platypus. The male platypus has spurs on its hind legs which are probably
used in combat during the mating season. As in that other Australian monotreme,
the echidna, the platypus has poison glands at the base of its spurs.

The doctors describe the case of a man who picked up a small platypus
resting on a log on a river in north Queensland. The platypus spiked the
man’s hand with one of its spurs. The pain was immediate and unremitting.
‘Significant function impairment of the hand persisted for three months,
the cause of which is uncertain,’ the doctors said.

Another threat to human health is the magpie. Ophthalmologists from
Queensland advise Australians to wear ‘anti-magpie’ hats if they are anywhere
near magpie nests. They report six attacks by swooping magpies. Five of
the victims were children. They are advised to wear hats with bright ‘faces’
on the back, a tactic designed to confuse the birds.

The good news is that the number of venomous snakes is falling. Straun
Sutherland of the Commonwealth Serum Laboratory in Melbourne attributes
the decline to development in coastal areas, the spread of the poisonous
cane toad and the use of pesticides.

Between 1981 and 1991 only 18 deaths from snake bites were reported
to the CSL. Four people were bitten after picking up a snake. In one case
last Christmas, a man who had been drinking with friends dived into the
Murray River in South Australia chasing a brown snake. He was bitten after
he grabbed the snake from behind. In another incident, an amateur snake
handler was bitten by a brown snake as he played with it in a Queensland
bar.