(Image: Paul McDevitt)
Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Laboratory saboteurs
FEEDBACK is arrested by the news that Rubis, a lamb genetically engineered to contain fluorescent jellyfish protein, somehow found her way onto dinner plates in France after being sold to a local abattoir.
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The French National Institute for Agronomic Research (INRA) sent Rubis to the slaughterhouse in 2014, hidden among a consignment of unmodified test animals, allegedly after a supervisor was tricked into signing off the sale by a disgruntled employee.
âThe best-controlled institution cannot ward against individual waywardness,â rued an unnamed source to The Telegraph , which prompts Feedback to wonder what other legendary acts of laboratory waywardness readers can share with us.
Tim Smith was pleased to find a âUniversal Halogen Bulbâ for his oven, especially since the seller adds âWe are now shipping these with much longer leads to make them more universal.â
PR peacekeepers
THE PR industry has long enticed journalists with pseudo-scientific stories supported by apparently simple but unexplained equations, usually claiming to reveal the secret to perfect pancakes, toast, football chants, and so on.
so reliable that the great M&C Saatchi used it to announce the firmâs 20-year anniversary last month. The advertising giant excitedly proclaimed that it had âcracked the marketing codeâ with a new equation, and brought peace to the turbulent offices of press relations companies.
âArt and science have been at war for centuries,â thundered Lord Saatchi implausibly in a press release, âScientists denounce the artists as dinosaurs. Artists repay the compliment: Bean counters! The new Saatchi Institute proposes a formula to separate the combatants and start a peace process. Marketing has not yet found its Newton⊠until now.â
The formula to this portentous fruitloopery, unveiled at a glitzy party at Londonâs V&A museum, is y = ae°ì(λâΟ), seems to know what these letters spell out. An argument for more dubious algebra in press releases, perhaps?
Clash of the titans
THE proliferation of technology can present unexpected problems. For the last year, London commuters have been warned about the dangers of âcard clashâ, a phenomenon whereby the contactless payment machines that guard the capitalâs transport network deduct a fare from the wrong card, from more than one card, or become paralysed with indecision.
As more and more companies submit to the lure of contactless cards, the electromagnetic real estate surrounding the nationâs wallets and purses is suffering a tragedy of the commons.
Consequently, a colleague reports that his wallet has become an accidental game of radio field Top Trumps: a National Union of Journalistsâ card blocks his building entry card, while an Arsenal season ticket incapacitates Londonâs Oyster transport pass. But what is the star card in this maligned deck? We eagerly await the results of your inadvertent contactless contests.
More drops in the bucket
OUR inbox is deluged with theories on the Royal Homeopathic Hospitalâs decision to change its name to the Royal London Hospital for Integrated Medicine (20 June).
âIn homeopathy, the less of an active substance that is used, the more powerful it is,â points out Derek Woodroffe. âSo by removing the word homeopathy they have made the message more powerful.â Although he wonders why they need a whole hospital, when one ward in an otherwise empty building would be more successful.
Commenting on the revelation that Prince Charles lobbied for increased funding for homeopathy, Larry McCloskey posits likewise: âWouldnât decreased funding be called for to increase the efficacy of homeopathic healthcare?â
Catalogue nails screws
BROWSING his Screwfix catalogue for building supplies, Doug Fenna is pleased to find that 11/2âł Quicksilver Woodscrews are as being âideal for use with screwdriversâ. Doug canât help but admit âthatâs certainly a good attribute for a screw!â
Long lunch
HIGH above Earth, Richard Sleeman discovers a curious factoid printed on the box of his in-flight meal, a cheese and chutney baguette. It would take âan incredible 200,375 of these baguettes to cover the circumference of the world just once!â the packaging exclaimed.
âIt is a lot of sandwiches,â says Richard, âbut it didnât seem an incredible number to me.â He calculated that each sandwich would have to be 200 metres long to qualify this statement as true, whereas the one he was served was closer to 20 centimetres in length.
Feedback is left to ponder whether there is an International Standard Baguette in Paris from which we could make an official estimate of the number need to encircle the globe.
Poor Richard, meanwhile, says âI spent the rest of the flight hoping that the same mathematicians werenât responsible for calculating the amount of fuel we needed.â