FEEDBACK’s mind is boggled, though we should have seen this coming. Readers continually point us to the online outpourings of purveyors of perpetual motion – many entertaining, some sad. Meanwhile, mass emails, some of them actually in green ink, frequently ask us to consider religiously inspired messages.
“Booking a flight with Easyjet, Graham Legg was asked for his year of birth – and offered dates back to 1850. He wonders how 162-year-olds fare when seeking travel insurance”
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Colin Watters has found the intersection of the two genres: World Improvement Through The Spirit Ministries (WITTSM), at witts.ws. We are surprised that this is the first we have heard of an organisation that “pioneered and introduced everything from motors to lights to computers to CD’s [sic] to lasers” and that “dates back to the time of Michael Faraday”.
Faraday, the scientist who explored electromagnetic induction among other things, grew up as a member of the Sandemanian sect, known for its egalitarian disdain for qualifications and for a strict interpretation of the Protestant doctrine of “justification by faith” rather than by deeds.
WITTSM roughly follows these beliefs, especially the latter one: its range of video testimonials by “independent” engineers includes one who “speaks very passionately about the validity” of the “technolgies” [sic]. These include “automobiles which run totally on water and air, the only exhaust is oxygen, water, and air” and “anti-gravity machines that can travel as easily through outer space as through air”.
Apparently, and in capital letters, all this “does not violate any of the laws of physics”. Our faith is, however, somewhat challenged.
SEVERAL readers have separately expressed surprise at the intelligence displayed by the microbes that featured in one of our news stories (91av, 25 February, p 4). In the Atacama Desert in Chile, it seems, “an oasis of microbes has been found 2 metres below its surface using an instrument that could one day hunt for life on Mars.”
“Those clever little devils will take over the planet yet,” comments James Whalley.
DELVING with some trepidation into our piling system, we find a lovely photo sent to us by Kirsteen Brown of a sign somewhere inside a Scandinavian furnishing emporium near Edinburgh, UK. “If you find this area below standard, please report to a member of staff,” the sign begins.
We can guess that evasion of the true purpose of the “area” and the possible ways in which it might be “below standard” were uppermost in the signwriter’s mind. Circumlocution thus led them to go on to produce a classic of quantum signage (21 January). “These facilities,” the sign continues in homage to Henrietta Maria Bowdler, creator of an expurgated edition of William Shakespeare’s sometimes scatological works, “are also located in our Restaurant upstairs and the Exit area.”
READER Ken Zetie believes Feedback likes special offers and thinks we will love this one from Arbico, a company which builds PCs to order. “Special Offer!” it trumpets. “Was £879 inc VAT. Order now and save £-50. Now only £929.”
Ken’s right, we do love it, though we didn’t believe it at first. But we followed the link that Ken gave us at , looked near the bottom on the right of the page as instructed, and there it was.
What would we do without our readers? And what would they do without eccentric copywriters?
FOLLOWING our story about the resident of Queensland, Australia, who was charged with being “in possession of a drug utensil and thing” (10 March), Ian Cutter says that this is not just a Queenslandism.
Some years ago he wanted to take a large bean seed across the border into New South Wales. It had to be disinfected, after which he was given its documentation. This was headed “Permit for the movement of things”.
THE first page of the contract academic publisher Continuum sent to Dom Watts provided definitions of key terms such as “audio format”, “digital format” and “electronic book”. The last item on the list was “Territory”, the definition for which was “the world and the universe”.
Dom thinks it makes sense to ensure that the publisher’s rights extend beyond the bounds of our home planet, but why stop at the universe? Surely they ought to have specified the multiverse. “There may be another (10500)-1 universes out there in which copyright might be flouted with impunity, and we couldn’t have that,” says Dom.
FINALLY, when booking a flight with no-frills airline Ryanair, Ben Urmston was told that the company was busy “processing your request in real time” and that “it may take up to 45 seconds to complete this request”.
Ryanair’s confirmatory email arrived quickly, but the 45 second claim lingered on Ben’s screen for 3 more hours. Real time indeed.