Golden section for bladder stones
THE term “fruitloopery” was coined in this column to describe product promotions that deploy sciency words – such as quanta or tachyons – wildly out of context. We think reader Kim Travis may have extended this definition by finding a boundary condition for fruitloopery, in a paper entitled “The rapid establishment and implications of a melamine-induced standardized bladder stone model in mice” (Food and Chemical Toxicology, ).
“The key to establishing a standardized melamine-induced animal bladder stone (cystolith) model,” the paper’s abstract begins, “is to determine the most appropriate daily dose of dietary melamine, which is unknown.” We’re with them so far. Then they propose their formula for the “appropriate daily dose”, relating it to the “Lethal Dose 50” (LD50) – the dose that kills half the mice. They say “the daily dose may be close to the LD50’s golden section…” Eh?
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We understand the use of the “golden section” – – in aesthetics, particularly the design of Georgian building facades. We find “golden section theory” mentioned on websites describing schemes for – and regular readers will know of Feedback’s fascination with chimpanzees’ (25 June 2011) and astrologers’ (20 August 2011) ability to outperform such schemes. We also find it in numerological discussions that have even more of a fruitloop nature, relating to pyramids and stuff.
This just shows why it’s vital for scientists to stick to plain language in their papers: 0.618 of the killing dose means just that. Talk of the golden section is liable to set off fruitloopery alarms – not only Feedback’s.
ISN’T this a bit drastic? Jonathan Stratford was shocked by Google’s apparent intention to execute workers whose behaviour it disapproves of. The famous web search engine’s much trumpeted revised privacy policy states: “We restrict access to personal information to Google employees, contractors and agents who need to know that information in order to process it for us, and who are subject to strict contractual confidentiality obligations and may be disciplined or terminated if they fail to meet these obligations.”
THE Technology Strategy Board – the UK’s national innovation agency – has just announced the new name for its Technology Innovation Centres. David Cleevely thinks a suitable title could have been, for example, Turing Centres, or perhaps Maxwell Centres, but the board has opted for… Catapults.
According to the website promoting them (), “Catapults bridge the gap between universities, research and technology companies… Catapults are opening up the airwaves so that everyone can access the latest technologies, share ideas and collaborate.”
This sounds suitably forward-looking and dynamic. Unfortunately, Feedback can’t get rid of the image of a grubby little boy in short trousers running away from a house, catapult in hand, after accidentally firing a pebble through a window.
The last thing “catapult” conveys to us – and David seems to feel the same way as we do – is cutting-edge 21st-century technological innovation.
“Robert Knight is intrigued by the sign outside a shop on Mutley Plain, Plymouth, UK, that reads: “Tattoo while you wait.” Robert wants to know what the alternatives might be”
IS THE UK’s Royal Mail employing heavy irony to get its messages across? Perry Bebbington sends us a scan of a letter his company recently received with a Royal Mail postmark that says, quite clearly, “Please remember to write the”, followed by a series of smudges that we can only convey as “xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx”. The smudges are followed by the post office URL ““, which is nice and clear again.
Feedback’s very patient squinting seems to confirm Perry’s guess that the illegible words are “postcode” and “clearly”. Perry suggests that Royal Mail is deliberately making the message about clear postcodes almost unreadable in order to ram home what it is trying to tell us.
THE specification for the Eizo S2243W computer monitor at offers “Zero Watts When Turned Off”. In case we don’t understand this, the web page goes on to explain: “…when turned off via the main power switch, it consumes no electricity at all.” “With innovations like this,” says Bob Brewer, “we need have no fear of climate change.”
WHILE in a department store, Raine Hunter sought help from a member of staff behind a till, only to be told: “I’m not at this till at the moment.” “Left uncertain of her position,” says Raine, “we tried to calculate her velocity.”
FINALLY, reader Robert Watson sends us a photo of a sign on a tank under a portable air conditioner in a café in Newcastle, Australia. It says: “Empty when full.” This appeared maddeningly contradictory, until we realised it is an instruction.