Can this cable turn water into wine?
ALMOST three years ago Japanese electronics giant Denon offered hi-fi enthusiasts the chance to pay $499 for a short length of computer network cable, usually costing only a few dollars (23 July 2008). The claim was that the cable “thoroughly eliminates adverse effects from vibration”.
We never did get a clear explanation of how vibration can affect digits running through a cable. But it seems the price was a bargain, because the AKDL1 cable is now on sale at at $9999 new or $999 used (plus $4.99 for shipping).
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Hi-fi fans have not been indifferent to the cable’s qualities. They have turned Amazon’s customer comments pages, at , into a paean of ironic praise for these bits of wire, with well over 400 reviews.
Recent postings include this from DMan: “I filled a large glass with ordinary tap water and carefully dipped the doubled-over cable in. The whole glass turned instantly dark, red and more viscous. A quick taste and both my friend and I agreed that it was the finest tasting red wine we’d ever encountered.”
This comes from jmf: “Ever since I started using the cable… my light sabre skills have improved dramatically, much to the awe of my Master. I am able to jump from an anti-gravitational car running at full speed onto another, all the time dodging a laser gun.”
Perhaps most startling is what happened when Philip Spertus connected his cable to an iPod: “After listening to the entirety of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony I went on to listen to his 10th, something that I have never been able to accomplish with the lower quality ethernet cord that I had previously been using.”
“From Abu Dhabi, Marc Smith-Evans sends a photo of a hat – or possibly two quantum hats, since it is/they are made of “100 per cent Cotton; 100 per cent Polyester”
READER Paul Brown sends us a link to an enchanting photo taken by Joe Dunckley of , in south-west England, with a sign which reads, in its entirety: “Sign not in use.”
How would that convey a different message to the absence of a sign? We appreciate that the sign may return to use, but is there a rule forbidding its removal, leaving a post without a sign, or indeed neither sign nor post, in the interim? Did no one think “hang on…?” when they received the order to assemble this sign – which they did beautifully, we must say.
So many questions, and we haven’t even started on the epistemological implications of the fact that the sign that is “not in use” is now most definitely in use.
TALKING of signs, Gordon Woolcock was intrigued by one outside a “Complementary Health Care Centre” in Norwich, UK, offering “Homeopathic education”. How does that work? Does it, in the tradition of homeopathy itself, consist of undetectably small amounts of factual education diluted by large quantities of content-free nonsense?
Gordon points out the fantastic opportunities for savings on education budgets this could mean. On a more personal note, he adds: “Maybe I could learn to play guitar by listening to white noise 24 hours a day and glancing at a picture of Eric Clapton once a month.”
Notice for people who aren’t there
STILL on this theme, those familiar with the Australian electoral system will no doubt understand this, but lacking such knowledge ourselves we sympathise with Norm Cleland’s supposition that the Australian Electoral Commission has fallen under the influence of quantum theory. During the recent Victoria state elections it put up a sign at Norm’s local polling station that read: “Absent voters queue here”.
FUTURISTIC technology is wonderful, isn’t it? Michael Forbes now has a car fitted with Microsoft’s Sync software, so that he can use voice commands to interact with his MP3 player and cellphone. “Once it thinks it knows what I said,” he explains, “it repeats back to me what it thinks it heard.”
Feedback is somewhat reassured that the system is not yet as advanced as those word-perfect, initially obedient computers portrayed in science fiction movies (think HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey). Michael recently suffered much frustration trying to get it to recognise that he wanted to play the song Radio Ga Ga by Queen. After three or four attempts, the software finally reached into its dictionary of abbreviations and repeated: “Play track radio gallium gallium“.
Michael wonders whether Freddie Hg should get the credit for this composition.
FINALLY, something different. Adam Marshall notes that the pink Himalayan salt discussed in Feedback (18 December 2010) is said to be 250 million years old. But buyers should beware, he says: The use-by date is May 2013.