YET more fruitloopery arrives in our inbox as Pranav Lal alerts us to Scalar Wave Lasers – though it may be unfair to judge the product entirely by the first testimonial on : “My vision of healing with the sacred union of light, color and vibration is now manifest.”
What do the promoters themselves have to say about scalar waves? Apparently, they are “revolutionary neutral waves of energy. They do not have polarity and therefore do not travel in a linear fashion from past to present.” Er, maybe.
You can try to heal yourself with them at a cost of a mere $3300 for a device containing 16 red laser diodes. Would those be similar to the diodes offered on a well-known auction website for just£1.68 apiece? Then again, we could hardly begrudge paying rather more for the proprietary device’s “patent pending scalar wave technology” and its “advanced quantum features”.
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Feedback’s attempts to elucidate what “scalar wave” might mean led us to the , who believes that Maxwell’s equations of electromagnetism have been censored to hide the possibility of infinite free energy. What would this mean in terms of boring old conventional physics?
Consider a weather map. At any one point on it, the temperature just has a magnitude: it is a scalar quantity. The wind, however, has a magnitude and also a direction: it is a vector.
Electromagnetism is all vectors, too, sane physicists tell us. But according to Bearden and his followers, electromagnetism also incorporates a scalar field, which makes all sorts of wondrous things possible.
This confluence of vibrational healing and free energy raises the alarming possibility of a Grand Unified Fruitloop Theory (GUFT).
Just wait until more of the fruitloops realise that the Higgs particle – sometimes called the “God particle” – is, if it exists, the manifestation of a scalar field (91av, 19 April 2008, p 15).
Feedback rather prefers the implication of another site, , selling an which it declares is “profound like a Star Trek Tricorder”. Not real, then, but imaginary.
“A notice Mike Page saw attached to railings in the city of Portsmouth, UK, reads: “All objects attached to these railings will be removed.” Not often you see a notice threaten itself”
FOLLOWING our report on inappropriate online advertising (19 December 2009) Maura Hazelden tells us she joined the “Climate change denial is evil” group on Facebook. On arriving at the group page, she found the advertisement on the right-hand side was: “Charter a jet for family and friends”.
“You have to laugh,” she says.
TWO weeks ago we asked why the word “aspects” should so often be replaced by “phpects” on the web (13 February). Yonatan Silver (by email) and Jim Miller (online comment) were just the first of many to suggest, in Yonatan’s words, that “a number of website builders did a global search-and-replace of references to ASP (a website-building language), replacing it with PHP (another website-building language)”.
Tim Edwards agrees with this explanation and points out that “phpire” and even “phparagus” are out there, too.
Kris Nelmes, however, was miffed about the online discussion on the subject: “I’m going to have a cry because I thought I was going to be the first to work that out.”
READER Roger Powell wants to get hold of a box from Amazon, as these handy containers appear to have the ability to reduce the weight of any objects placed inside them.
For example, the vehicle reversing aid Roger was interested in normally weighs 2 kilograms, according to the on Amazon’s site (), but its boxed weight is listed as only 599 grams. This, Roger suggests, must be how Amazon keeps its shipping costs down.
PROUDLY wearing an analogue watch from Timex, Glenn Ostling was impressed by its glow-in-the-dark face. He was even more impressed, when it came to the end of his first month with the device, by the honesty of the instruction sheet: “NOTE: Date may need to be manually updated at the end of each month… otherwise it will continue to 39 and then roll over to 00.”
Why, we want to know, did the engineers pick a 40-day default month, counting from zero? After idly searching for objects with an orbital period of 40 days, Feedback concludes that the target market may be computer programmers (who notoriously have to remember, when shopping, not to count eggs “zero, one, two…”) living on one of the central pair of stars in the in the constellation Leo.
FINALLY, Alistair Anderson tells us he received a leaflet through his door entitled “Crime and anti-social behaviour”. It explained: “This leaflet tells you what you can expect from the police and others when it comes to crime and anti-social behaviour.”