PROBABLY this is database humour, if that isn’t an oxymoron. Dominic Mercier was the first of many to inform us that if you go to and seek directions to London (UK) from anywhere in North America, you are instructed first to go to the New England Aquarium in Boston, Massachusetts. The instructions then invariably read: “Turn right at Long Wharf (0.2 km). Swim across the Atlantic Ocean (5572 km). Slight right at E05 (0.8 km). Take the exit onto A29/E44 toward Amiens (44.7 km)”. You will be making landfall at the Terminal Grande-Bretagne in Le Havre, France, and driving thence to Boulogne docks.
More oddly, Feedback’s copying and pasting the above instructions from the web page revealed hidden text noting that you are allowed “29 days 0 hours” for the swim: a spanking 8 kilometres per hour without breaks.
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The geek who arranged to get their employer this free publicity may feel excited enough to do that, but we’d rather take the slow boat, thanks.
A STORY in the Mensa magazine for the very bright that Valerie Moyses read described the work of Narayan Desai, head of Mensa’s section in Pune, India. “Desai,” it says, “is planning to administer the Mensa [test] to 1000 tribal children in Pune district. Even if 1 per cent are identified as gifted, he will have 100 Mensans to nurture.”
COMPUTERS were supposed to make office life easy. Quite how much they have done so is vigorously debated, often when some baffling error message turns out to be an erroneous report of the disappearance of a week’s work. Computers have, though, undoubtedly succeeded in one respect: the copy and paste functions ensure that hardly anything needs to be retyped.
Even this has drawbacks, though. One pitfall awaits authors who copy and paste bibliography entries complete with typos, casting some doubt on whether they’ve read the papers referenced, as reported by Mikhail Simkin and Vwani Roychowdhury at (91av, 14 December 2002, p 12).
Another awaits those who forget that the editing functions have no effect on paper. Feedback’s fingers frequently mime the Control-F gesture, seeking keywords in a boring paper document. Shamefacedly, we admit we forgot where cut-and-paste doesn’t work when we suggested that readers view Jesus riding a dinosaur at (Control-C! Alt-Tab! Control-V!) (7 April).
David French typed it all in and comes to your rescue by creating a link to the picture at – and we’ve now made a more memorable one at . We’re looking into using such services in the future.
“We Email Advertise Your Web Site to 0,000,000 People, announces a meta-spam email sent to Ian Watson, not very enticingly.”
ո鴡’S The Road Ahead Magazine heralds the introduction of “Euro 4” standards for truck diesel engines in its current issue. It quotes the National Transport Commission as saying, “One well-maintained, Euro 4-compliant truck would emit less fine ‘soot’ particulates than 20 trucks built in the 1990s”. Even more joyously, Brett Porter tells us, the NTC continues: “From January 2010, more demanding Euro 5 engine emissions will apply.” These, we suppose, will yield less soot than 19 trucks built in the 1990s.
SOOT? No problem! Laundry balls from contain “scientifically formulated pellets [that] ‘activate’ water molecules producing electrolytic oxygen and hydrogen ions, which unleash their natural power to lift dirt from clothing fibres”.
Aidan Hancock wants to know whether this is a solution to the world’s energy problems. Feedback’s concerns are more local and involve the explosion risk.
We also wonder how the balls get electricity for that electrolysis without electrocuting the owner.
Checking the archive, we discover that 91av has covered laundry balls before – though we can’t help suspecting that the opportunity to print the headline “Improve your wash with a load of balls” was a consideration (28 March 1992, p 26). Back then, though, they worked by scrubbing the clothes, without the need for added sciency guff.
FINALLY, we want to rename this column in preparation for its branching out as a blog on , and to avoid the confusion experienced by those who think “Feedback” means “contact us” (14 April). We invite readers to send in ideas for a new name by email or post. Please restrict each suggestion to a maximum of two words and do not send in more than two suggestions. You could be the winner of a magnum of champagne – or an ethanol-free alternative – if we adopt your suggestion.
All suggestions must reach us by Monday 14 May and the editor’s decision on the winner is final.