TAKE protective clothing, safety goggles and a respirator next time you visit a bar. Richard Platt recently bought some Dry-Treat Marble and Porcelain Sealer to treat a granite work surface. The instructions sternly warned him not to take it internally, to use a positive-pressure ventilator if ventilation is inadequate when he is working, and to wear suitable solvent-resistant gloves, protective clothing, safety goggles and an organic vapour respirator during application. A check on the product’s safety data at confirmed the need for these measures. “Significant ingestion,” it warned, “can result in depression of central nervous system,” while if inhaled, “vapours can affect the central nervous system and result in headaches and dizziness.”
And what is the dangerous solvent that merits such thorough precautions? None other than ethyl alcohol.
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READERS interested in the state of understanding of science and technology among the UK’s political elite should look up a recent report in Hansard, the word-for-word record of the proceedings of the UK parliament.
Before Parliament closed down for next month’s general election, MPs were debating what will happen when the UK’s main analogue TV transmitters are switched off, probably starting in 2008, to be replaced by an all-digital service.
“If I were working in a TV shop,” said Alan Reid, “I would expect a flood of calls…from those who missed all the adverts…and from those who find that for some reason the untested equipment does not work.”
“There will be a third group,” predicted Brian White, “the technophobes who do not have a 7-year-old kid to do it for them.”
Michael Moore agreed: “For many who do not have a 7-year-old child…the switchover will be a big burden.” Don Foster added hopefully that if any other MP “does not put himself in that category, if he wants to pop around to my flat afterwards to tune my video in, I would be grateful. I have been trying to get it right for two months”.
COMPUTERS seem to be refining their malevolence routines. Andrew Jonkers received this message from the Microsoft IIS program that serves up web pages: “Your Web site security may need to be tightened. To tighten security as much as possible for your Web sites, select ‘Fix this problem’. Note: This message will re-appear even after your security is tightened.”
STAFF of the Science City museum at Union Station in Kansas City, Missouri, “are hoping a 65-foot, 140-year-old dinosaur will attract up to 100,000 more visitors a year and help pull the struggling Kansas City landmark out of the red”. If the dinosaur were indeed only 140 years old, it surely would attract considerable attention.
Feedback is rather disturbed, though, that a quick search of Google News turned up 32 web news sources that failed to catch the error before posting the Associated Press story quoted above. These included the Los Angeles Times, a publication more usually accused of being part of a liberal secular conspiracy against young-Earth creationism, rather than an implicit supporter.
JEF RASKIN, who died recently aged 61, was best known for his early work on the Apple Macintosh computer, but he had a wide variety of interests including art and music, as well as an independent streak. We have just come across his account of how he left his faculty post at the University of California, San Diego. He wrote: “When I resigned I got into a hot air balloon in the middle of Revelle Plaza and flew over the Chancellor’s residence playing my sopranino recorder so that he would hear the sound. He came out and I yelled down that I was resigning and floated off. I was an art professor at the time and it seemed arty to leave that way.”
“There is a sign on a door in Robert Christie’s school in County Cork, Ireland, that says “This door can only be used when unlocked”. Christie comments: “Who says school doesn’t teach you anything?””
ALF COUSINS was looking for information on the Hyundai international website. Failing to get it, he attempted to make contact through the button labelled “Voice of the Customer”. Here is the message he got in response: “This page is temporarily closed due to system maintenance. We hope to reopen this page at the soonest time. Thank you in advance for kind understanding. Hyundai, always there for you.”
THANKS to Holger Hollmark, who writes to tell us that he spotted this intriguingly recursive statement in an article about gender in the Swedish publication Folkvett: “The argument that there exists a difference between the sexes is a typical male view.”
FINALLY, the entire population of the Earth asks you, nicely, please do not take advantage of this offer that Sophie Sheppard found in the Argos mail-order catalogue: “Name a star after someone special in your life. UK Mainland delivery included.”
