AS SCIENCE probes ever smaller scales, we need new units. The existing measures of length, for example, only go as far as the yoctometre – that’s 10-24 metres. What’s next?
There is, Feedback has discovered, a proposal in the wings. “In 1993, hacker Morgan Burke proposed, to general approval, the following additional prefixes: groucho (10-30), harpo (10-27)…” the Free Online Dictionary of Computing records. “This would leave the prefixes zeppo, gummo and chico available for future expansion…Sadly, there is little immediate prospect that Mr Burke’s eminently sensible proposal will be ratified.”
Feedback commends this proposal to the Bureau International des Poids et Mesures for consideration at its next conference. In view of the preferred pace of such international organisations, perhaps adoption at a special conference in 2029 would be appropriate, marking the centenary of the Marx Brothers’ first feature film.
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EARLIER this year, we noted the headline “Crook named CEO” of the year and wondered “So what’s new?” (20 March, 2004). Now we find that the person the headline referred to, Jerry Crook, is in the news again.
The online news agency Nextgenerationservices recently had this to say: “Jerry Crook has stepped down as CEO of up-and-coming OSS firm Cramer Systems Ltd after being charged with conspiracy to defraud investors while he was an executive at software firm Peregrine Systems Inc. Crook is just one of a number of former Peregrine executives charged with conspiracy to commit a multibillion-dollar securities fraud between 1997 and 2002.”
Nominative determinism strikes again?
AMY Binns recently bought a rattle for her new baby. It was made of fabric, with several plastic teething rings attached, and spherical. The care label read: “Do not iron”.
The warning with the garment Sunil Mathur bought for his new baby, however, raised stating the obvious to an entirely new level: “In the interest of safety, it is advisable to keep your child away from fire and flames.”
We are completely confident that these items were not submitted by Binns and Mathur merely to get round our declaration (13 November) that this is not a births announcement column. So, for the record, the respective babies’ names are Rosie and Billy.
CONTRARY to widespread belief, “fries” are not always a potato product frequently sold with hamburgers. No, they can be a far more scrumptious delicacy than that, as country people have known for years. According to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in his River Cottage Meat Book: “Fries are the euphemistic and prevailing culinary term for the testicles of cows, pigs and sheep”.
Male readers may feel a little squeamish at the thought of such items finding their way onto the menu, but we are more concerned by HFW’s understanding of bovine anatomy. Fries from pigs and sheep, yes. But cows? SEVERAL readers have drawn our attention to an item in the Dreamdirect catalogue sent out with the 20 November issue of 91av. On page 9 a “forehead thermometer” is advertised.
In it, a speech bubble accompanying a picture of a young woman with the thermometer on her forehead states: “Your body temperature is 46.5 °C”. The young woman’s ears are not visible in the picture, so we do not know if steam is coming out of them.
AND thanks, too, to everyone who alerted us to the BBC online news item about a Trades Union Congress report on the large numbers of British workers, from teachers to fitness instructors, who lose their voices because of the pressures of their work. The BBC report concludes: “TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber said loss of voice could become a serious condition which could end up costing workers their jobs. He urged people to speak up when they first develop symptoms.”
FINALLY, don’t forget to send us your entries to our Feedback New Year’s Resolution Competition. What offbeat project, described in a sentence or two, would make life in 2005 more fun in interesting or exciting ways?
You may submit up to two entries per person by letter, fax or email: please put “Feedback competition” in the subject line or above the postal address. Thanks to the generosity of Penguin, 10 lucky winners will receive a bumper pack of books: Not On The Label by Felicity Lawrence, Reefer Madness by Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser, Hegemony or Survival by Noam Chomsky, and So Shall We Reap by Colin Tudge.
On top of this, thanks to the generosity of Jameson, the winners will also receive a bottle of Jameson’s ultra-smooth Irish Whiskey.
The winning entries will be chosen for their wit and originality. All entries must reach Feedback by Monday 13 December. The winners will be announced in the 8 January issue. The editor’s decision is final.
All doors on the ground floor of the government’s Department for Education and Skills building in central London bear the sign: “These doors are alarmed and monitored by short circuit TV”