RECENTLY we noted the wit and wisdom that occasionally makes a fleeting appearance on laboratory whiteboards, only to be scrubbed off again by diligent cleaners (10 January). We appealed to readers to supply examples so that we could save them for posterity. Here are some of the results.
Meredith Harron’s favourite was in the office of a mathematician in an engineering research organisation. It said: “2 does not equal 3, even for very large values of 2”.
Sean Murray-Smith reports this from the whiteboard in a medical-centre staff tea room: “Would whoever owns the penicillin experiment in the fridge please remove it.”
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The board in James Cater’s lab was recently adorned with the old saw “It is nice to be important, but far more important to be nice”. It is a sad comment on our cynical times that this was removed almost immediately.
Richard Mean tells us of a note, not seen on a whiteboard, but on a lab instrument in the institute where he works: “Caution! This machine has no brain. Please use your own.”
Dervla Batt reports a note reading: “Just because bread is the staff of life it doesn’t mean that the life of the staff has to be one long loaf.”
On the other hand, Mark Coleman recently observed “Reticence, mumbling and disorganisation are the signs of a deep and enquiring mind”, in his lab. Coleman also wanted to tell us about a challenging, if thoroughly English, item of graffiti he encountered: “What if the hokey-kokey IS what it’s all about?”
Hugh Murphy was keen to tell us one of his own: “Please do not read this message,” he writes when he encounters a whiteboard. And when he’s in a skittish mood, he adds: “If you have read this far, please unread back to the beginning.”
Sadly, the origin of the example we liked best remains lost in the depths of our filing system, so we can’t say who it was saw the message “Get me out of this whiteboard”, next to a blackboard with the message: “Free at last!”
WILL they never learn? Following several email virus attacks, the systems administrator for the physics department at Laval University in Quebec City, Canada, forwarded a warning to all its users concerning the dangers of opening email attachments. Specifically, Aaron Carlos Vincent tells us, the message cautioned that under no circumstances should users open unsolicited attached files, even if the file appeared to come from a legitimate sender.
And how was this valuable advice sent out? As an email attachment, of course.
WHAT is your attitude towards yo-yos? It very much depends, it seems, on your line of work. This year “marks the 75th anniversary of the Duncan Yo-Yo,” the Newswise website reported recently. “To a historian, the yo-yo is the marketing success story of Donald Duncan. To a child (of all ages) it is a challenging toy. ‘To a physicist, however, a yo-yo is a remarkably fun example of a flywheel,’ said Gordon Jones, assistant professor of physics at Hamilton College.”
Did we hear someone say physicists need to get out more?
ANOTHER from the department of unusual units. Reader Buzzy Murray was so interested in the arrival of last month’s National Chip Week (16 to 22 February) that he visited the British Potato Council’s website (), where he learned that: “We tuck into an enormous 38,000 tonnes of chips every week. That’s the equivalent of almost 5500 double-decker buses.”
MEANWHILE, the European Space Agency has got in on the act with new units of measurement for force and area.
An ESA press release about the Rosetta spacecraft, which will be meeting up with comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko and accompanying it on its journey, tells us: “Rosetta is equipped with 24 thrusters each delivering 10 newtons. That corresponds to the force needed here on Earth to hold a bag containing 10 apples.”
Later, we are told that Rosetta’s solar panels “span 32 metres tip to tip while, at 64 square metres, the surface area is comparable to that of a two-bedroom apartment”.
Reader Jonathan Gebbie notes the happy coincidence that 1 newton equals exactly 1 apple-force. The only pity is that while this works on Earth, it won’t hold true on comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
FINALLY, Bill Rathmell reports a recent announcement he heard while flying with Australian airline Qantas that left him a little bemused. Passengers were requested to kindly take care while opening the overhead lockers as their contents “may have moved during the flight”. As Rathmell explains, he would certainly ask for his money back if they had not.
According to the Interflora website: “With the exception of funeral orders we are unable to carry out AM or PM deliveries.”
So when do they deliver?
